Social Anxiety Therapy Overview | Alexis Pagomenos Psychology

How I Treat Social Anxiety in Therapy

Social Anxiety Treatment Overview

Social Anxiety is normal, just about everyone (myself included) experiences it.
For our ancestors, not fitting in to the group meant not surviving, so our minds have evolved to consider this a threat (and increase our anxiety) just like it does for snakes, or heights.
Sometimes though our social anxiety gets too big, and we can get stuck in a vicious cycle where it gets stronger and stronger, and gets in the way of us living the life we want to live.
That's where therapy comes in.

Insight = understanding what keeps it going, so then we know what to change to help us get unstuck.

Four things we do that keep social anxiety going:

1. Negative Beliefs about Myself & Unrelenting Standards:

Having a negative or defective belief about myself.
Setting high standards of how I think I should perform in social situations.
Strong beliefs about how others will respond to me.

Sometimes people with social anxiety hold a negative belief about themselves, which can lead them to being very fearful that others will view them negatively. All of this can put us under a lot of pressure to act or be a certain way in social situations.

2. Unhelpful Thoughts and Images:

Predictions; “mind reading; "they will think I look anxious”.
Worries; “what if say something embarrassing, and it goes silent, what if they ignore me.”
Judgements; “I am messing this up, I'm not good at this, this isn't going well.”
Doubts; “I will never be able to do this, I will always be socially anxious."

Our anxious thoughts and images aren’t always accurate or helpful. When we experience social anxiety, we often get stuck with emotional reasoning (feeling something like anxiety and thinking my thoughts must be true just because it feels that way).

3. Self-Focused Attention:

Focusing my attention on my actions, or how I am doing in this situation (Am I being interesting enough? Am I standing in a weird way?).
Focusing on my emotions (anxiety, fear, embarrassment).
Focusing on my body sensations (fight/flight symptoms; racing heart, sweating, shakes, butterflies in the stomach, tight chest, feeling dizzy).

Paradoxically, focusing on these things actually makes them bigger, and actually gets in the way of coping and performance (noticing these things, accepting them as normal and not dangerous or embarrassing, and shifting our focus back to the other person/people actually helps them reduce and leads to better social interactions).

4. Avoidance & Safety Behaviours:

Avoiding social situations.
Going quiet.
Asking questions instead of talking about myself.
Safety behaviours (alcohol, a friend, scrolling on my phone).

These behaviours are so normal, but they can also prevent us from learning the truth (about our unhelpful thoughts and beliefs), they increase our self-focused attention (keeping us stuck in the vicious cycle), and they can be self-fulfilling prophecies (actually leading to us being more socially awkward, or others seeing us negatively).

Insight alone often doesn't help us to make effective change.

It is helpful to know which behaviours we might be doing that are keeping us stuck, but we also have to identify what behaviours we could do be doing differently that could make things better.

This often involves identifying and exploring new ways of responding to situations, thoughts and feelings, as well as learning some new skills as needed to help us get unstuck.

In therapy we build and practice a range of skills to take the power out of our unhelpful thoughts.
We practice making space for uncomfortable emotions and feelings that we experience, as we slowly step out of our comfort zone in social situations.
We practice being more in control of our attention and actions, to reduce the things that keep social anxiety going.
All so that we can live a rich, full and meaningful life.

When you are ready to book a first session,
Give our lovely reception team a call, send us a message, or fill out the enquiry form.

I hope this has been helpful,
and I'm looking forward to working with you.

Regards, Alexis.

Book A Session

Professional Experience

Psychologist

I completed my Masters of Clinical Psychology at Griffith University and am currently a practicing registered psychologist (AHPRA). I am currently continuing my professional development by completing a clinical psychology accreditation.

Published Research

Following my Honours year at Queensland University of Techno-logy I had the opportunity to work with CARRS-Q where I published
my study on young drivers and
road safety.

Group Therapy Facilitator

I have had the opportunity to create and run a group therapy program (THRIVE) which is currently in its fourth iteration. The program focuses on teaching skills to understand and manage stress and anxiety from a Compassion-Focused Therapy perspective.

Areas of Specialisation

Anxiety is very helpful for keeping us safe. But sometimes it’s like an overly sensitive smoke alarm that goes off when we burn the toast. Anxiety can show up as racing thoughts which get us stuck in endless what ifs and imaginal rehearsal to help us avoid some negative future event. It can show up in our body as panic, racing heart, tight chest or butterflies in our stomach.

The worst part about unhelpful anxiety is that we spend too much of our time preparing for negative events that never happen, or we avoid situations that make us feel anxious and miss out on all these great experiences in life!

A combination of CBT and ACT can help. We will work to understand your anxiety, build some new skills to respond to it differently, and take it at your pace to slowly step out of your comfort zone and build confidence in those anxiety provoking situations.

I need to finish this next project, then I’ll take a break…

All of us have this amazing drive system to build, collect resources, and continue to grow & improve. It helps us to do amazing things. But it can also keep us trapped sometimes when we struggle to prioritise rest and relaxation (you know, slowing down, not doing anything “productive”).

For many of us, it can feel uncomfortable to actually rest and recover. Our mind pretty quickly starts telling us about all the things we should be doing or how we are falling behind in some way. But the reality of burnout is that if we don’t prioritise rest and recovery (connecting with the things, activities, and people that are recharging for us) by finding a balance that works for us between productivity and recovery, then our bodies will eventually start to force us to rest (we make mistakes, experience a lack of positive emotions, get sick more often, start making more “I don’t care choices” and become more irritable).

In therapy, we can explore your balance of productivity and recovery to understand which patterns are sustainable in the long-term and experiment to find new balances that work best for you (now and into the future). We can learn new skills to respond differently to rest and recovery activities that are recharging for you so that you can continue to perform at a high level, without coming at the cost of your future satisfaction.

Sadness is a normal human emotion that all of us experience when we lose something important to us. Depression is the name we give to a low mood that begins to have negative impacts on the rest of our life.

When we feel depressed, we tend to experience a lack of positive emotion, have a lack of motivation to do activities we used to enjoy, withdraw from activities and social events, sometimes we use substances or food to make us feel better in the short term, and all of us tend to experience more negative thoughts about ourselves, others and the future (thanks mind).

The difficult thing about depression is those symptoms of depression actually keep it going, like a vicious cycle that we get stuck in.

In therapy we can learn about depression and what keeps it going, so that we can work to undo those symptoms, unhook from those negative thoughts and build little fires of positive emotion that we can spread across different areas of our life until we can see a clear path out of depression.

Strangely enough perfectionism and procrastination often go together. Sometimes we get stuck trying to make sure we haven't made any mistakes in something we're working on that we spend a lot of time and energy focusing on that one thing, or we keep putting off even starting it because we are worried about not being good enough (messing it up, failing, or feeling uncomfortable doing it).

The worst part, is that when we do this tasks tend to pile up and up until it’s really stressful or creates a big problem which requires even more effort to fix.

In therapy, we can work to get off this rollercoaster of perfectionism and procrastination, so you can feel more in control of those tasks (and less stressed in the process).

Sometimes when we experience traumatic events in our life, our mind struggles to make sense of them and how they fit into our understanding of the world. Sometimes we can re-experience intrusive thoughts, memories or feelings about these events long after they happened. Sometimes we avoid places or things that remind us of the event. These experiences are human and very common; it’s not a sign that there’s anything wrong with you.

But these symptoms can also be uncomfortable, painful and almost always a barrier to you engaging fully with all of the meaningful things and important people in your life right now.

In therapy, we take the time to process those trauma memories, by talking through them we give your mind a chance to organise and re-evaluate them. We work to change any unhelpful beliefs from the event, by exploring what the event meant to you and anything you learnt from it that is keeping you stuck in the present. And we reduce any avoidance behaviours that are getting in the way of you living a meaningful, rich and full life.

People living with ADHD have some pretty awesome strengths, they are often creative, hyper-focused, high-energy, adaptable and resilient. And if you’re at a social event they are often the best story tellers.

But the symptoms of ADHD, caused by deficits in executive functioning, can also make navigating a world designed for different brains challenging, frustrating, stressful and tiring at times. These challenges can often lead to feelings of shame and guilt, but you're not lazy (or any other negative criticism your mind throws at you either!).

In conjunction with medication (first line treatment for ADHD symptoms) therapy can also help with scaffolding any challenges (exploring any technologies or skills that can help to reduce the impact of procrastination, rejection sensitivity, disorganisation, impulsivity and emotion regulation) and build on your strengths to reduce the negative impact of your ADHD symptoms on your quality of life. A big part of therapy is working on self-acceptance, self-compassion and re-evaluating how you view yourself, how you respond to the impacts of your ADHD symptoms and what is actually important to you.

In therapy we can learn new skills, experiment with different technologies to scaffold your ability, and build self-compassion and self-acceptance skills as you acknowledge your strengths & challenges, treat yourself with kindness & compassion and take action to reduce your pain & suffering.

My Story

I always knew I wanted to work in a profession where I could connect with people and help them grow. I started that journey in fitness as a qualified personal trainer (TAFE), helping people to move their bodies in ways that they enjoyed.

However, during this time I saw some of the struggles my clients were going through and I wanted to learn how to be there for them and help them through those difficult times. So, along with a healthy curiosity for mental health and why we do the things we do, I began studying psychology at Queensland University of Technology in Brisbane.

Along the way I had the opportunity to work, teach, play and guide children across the lifespan as an educator at a before-and-after school care centre. During my Honours year at university, I worked briefly with CARRS-Q, the road safety and research centre, going on to publish my study with them in an academic journal. After Honours, I had the opportunity to use my knowledge of behavioural psychology to become a qualified positive behaviour support practitioner, working and supporting families and people living with disability to increase their quality of life.

Throughout my Masters study in Clinical Psychology I had the opportunity to support young people’s mental health at CYMHS in Caboolture Hospital and also with people across the life span at My Psych Clinic (a private practice in Eight Mile Plains), where I stayed on after my placement as a full-time psychologist, and have been working happily ever since.

Get In Touch

If you think that we might be a good fit, I encourage you to reach out and book a session. I look forward to working with you to support your mental health and wellbeing.

Book A Session

Contact Information

I work as part of the team at My Psych Clinic, in Eight Mile Plains.
Get in touch with our friendly reception team to book a session or answer any questions.

info@mypsychclinic.com.au

07 3349 5511

Level 1 Building 10/107 Miles Platting Rd, Eight Mile Plains QLD 4113

Please note that I am unable to respond to emergency or crisis situations. If you, or someone else, requires immediate emergency support, please contact emergency services on 000, Lifeline (24 hr service) on 13 11 14, Mental Health Access Line (24 hr service) on 1300 64 22 55, 13YARN - 13 92 76, or visit your nearest hospital emergency department.